So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the  other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later  that morning he went to a local sign shop and  bought a small sign that read: 

            "I'm the Boss!" 

            He then taped it to his office door. 

            Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign  that said:"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!" 

Cu Ti wrote to his Daddy: What are the differences between WIFE and GIRLFRIEND, Dad?

His Daddy replies:

- My dear, Wife is a TV. Girl friend is a HandPhone. At home watch TV.

Go out, bring HandPhone. No money, sell TV.

Got money, change HandPhone. Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HandPhone.

TV is free for life. But HandPhone, if you don’t pay, services will be TERMINATED!!!

But you should be careful with both, my dear son!

An older gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond.

As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak!

"Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week!"

He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket. As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message.

"Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month!"

The man continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out.

"Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year!"

Finally, the old man turned to the frog and exclaimed, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

Mr. Grey had a nice shop in the main street of a small town. He sold jewellery, watches, clocks and other things like those. All went well for some years, and then Mr. Grey's shop was broken into at night twice in a month, and a lot jewellery was stolen each time. The police had still not managed to catch the thief three weeks later. So Mr. Grey decided that he would try to do something about it. He, therefore, bought a camera, fixed it up in his shop so that it would photograph anyone who broke in at night, and put some very cheap jewellery in front of it for the thief. 

A few nights later, the thief did come again, but he did not touch any of cheap jewellery that Mr. Grey had put out of him. He took the camera. It was worth 150 pounds. 

A Rat was traveling along the King's highway. He was a very proud Rat, considering his small size and the bad reputation all Rats have. As Mr. Rat walked along—he kept mostly to the ditch—he noticed a great commotion up the road, and soon a grand procession came in view. It was the King and his retinue.

The King rode on a huge Elephant adorned with the most gorgeous trappings. With the King in his luxurious howdah were the royal Dog and Cat. A great crowd of people followed the procession. They were so taken up with admiration of the Elephant, that the Rat was not noticed. His pride was hurt.

"What fools!" he cried. "Look at me, and you will soon forget that clumsy Elephant! Is it his great size that makes your eyes pop out? Or is it his wrinkled hide? Why, I have eyes and ears and as many legs as he! I am of just as much importance, and"

But just then the royal Cat spied him, and the next instant, the Rat knew he was not quite so important as an Elephant.

A resemblance to the great in some things does not make us great.

One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip to a poor village. He wanted to show his son how the people in the village lived. They spent time on a farm of one of the poorest families. At the end of the day, the dad asked: “Did you see how poor they are? What did you learn?”

The boy answered: “We have a dog, they have four. We have a pool, they have a river. We buy food and they grow theirs. We have walls to protect us, they have friends.”

After they left, the boy wanted to tell his dad the truth.‘’Well, thanks for showing me how poor we are”, said the boy.

Moral of the story: Appreciate what you have!

Once there lived a hind in a forest. She had a son who had grown very young and strong. She was very happy to see his stout body and branched strong horns and thought, "stags have powerful horns, why should they be afraid of hounds, wolves then? It's sheer cowardice. I would never like my son to do it at all."

After some time, the hind's son came there. The hind wanted to teach him to be courageous. She said, "Son! You have a stout body and strong horns. So, you must not run away from hounds and wolves. Don't be a coward."

"Ok, mom; I won't", said the stag.

 Just then the mother and the son heard the bark of the hounds. The hind got ready to run away when her son asked her to stay on. She said, "You may, but I have no horns."

Saying so, she ran as fast as she could.

The mother herself was a coward and was teaching courage to her son. What a satire!

Artist : “That, sir, is a cow grazing”